A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman by Joan Anderson

Book suggested by Judy, meeting hosted by Pat S.

Judy was creative in her approach to leading the discussion. We started with a game that was supposed to stimulate our creative thinking (we were not very imaginative though). Then, rather than limiting our discussion to Joan's activities, we related them to our own lives. We found that most of us had much in common in the way we, as women, orchestrate our families' lives and take responsibility for others, often leaving our own needs as a low priority. Most of us could not step away for an entire year, though a few nights or weeks might be welcomed! We thought Joan was somewhat callous in the way she (seemingly easily) abandoned her loved ones. The book led us to believe that she was weak in her attempts to communicate and resolve her issues before taking such a drastic approach. We got the impression that she led a privileged life (especially since she had a summer home to go to), and thought she was somewhat unappreciative of the good things (and people) in her life. We were a little mystified by her relatioships with her new friend (Joan) and others. We did not respect the fact that she chose to "run away," rather than work through her difficulties with her husband, and were troubled by the way she dealt with him and her children. One of us questioned why such a personal quest would be documented for others to read unless there were motives other than self-realization.

This book got a lower average score than most because some of us thought it was too deep and others just didn't like it. A few appreciated the depth and chose to read and re-read sections for full understanding. They believed that some of Joan's thoughts were very insightful and profound, and they chose to earmark or take notes on some of the passages. Others thought the book was very depressing and that Joan had a terribly sad life and, therefore, did not enjoy the book.

Few, if any of us, could identify with Joan and her choices. We understood and agreed that everyone must "recharge their batteries" occasionally, but what she did was extreme. A few liked the book enough to want to return to it later, and will read the sequel.

Joan Anderson's website: http://joanandersononline.com/